Dear 2020: My Deepest Thoughts
You were unexpected and complicated.
Yet despite all the losses this year, I’m grateful.
You brought forth a much needed wake up call.
You gave me time to reflect.
When the pandemic hit, I felt lost.
I felt unsure, filled with doubt. It’s like everything came to an abrupt stop.
My mind was racing with fears, doubts, insecurities, desires, dreams, aspirations….
I realized I was filled with thoughts.
As people typically wrap up and reflect on the year, I believe 2020 was a year that brought forth reflection.
Whether we wanted to or not, a need to rethink, revisit, and reframe traditional schools of thought was brought to light.
You reminded me…
…that it’s okay to press pause.
Every so often we get caught up in working towards the next best thing and we forget to seize the day.
Taking a break is underrated especially with hustle culture.
There will always be work but you can never go back in time. Pressing pause allows to re-evaluate if you are truly living the life you desire, de-stress from activities that overwhelm you, and reflect on your health overall.
Be honest and true with yourself. Make time to be vulnerable. There is no reason to put a guard up when checking in for yourself.
One of the biggest things we can do to make ourselves feel fulfilled is to keep our health in check and this can be — physical, mental, and/or emotional.
With time, I hope more of us check in regularly so we can live each day with purpose and fulfillment.
…of my potential to grow and learn.
Especially as a young adults, I feel that we easily become prey to societal standards. We’re often informed that accolades and titles are equivalent to the worth and value of a person.
But, I don’t want to be tied down by a title or stereotype.
As someone in her early 20s, there’s so much I want to do and accomplish.
I feel that now is the best time to do so. As I said earlier, you cannot go back in time. The time you have now is precious.
If you want to try a new hobby, do it.
If you are unhappy with your career, pivot.
Don’t be afraid to fail and try something new. Find pride and excitement that you found the courage to explore the unknown.
It is your time now to explore your potential and find what makes you happy. There is no reason to limit or constrain yourself to the traditional society constructs.
Someone once told me fail now and fail early. Each failure begets a lesson learned. A person who accumulates and understands the value of failure will have the ingredients for the recipe of success.
You taught me…
…to think and act with intentions.
We all are blessed with our ability to think. Each of us has the ability to choose how we act. Some of us more than others.
This year, I was reminded of the privilege I have to afford certain products and services.
I admit though I never spent as much time diving into the behind of scenes of what corporations truly look like behind the scenes.
Whether is learning about truth of fast fashion or BIPOC representation across industries (beauty, tech, etc.), I realized my actions convey my intentions.
If I’m interested in buying a new product, I should think about if I’m funding the right cause.
Am I supporting people and businesses who align with what I believe in? Am I putting money where my mouth is?
This year more than I ever I felt okay with spending that extra dollar or so towards a BIPOC business or business with strong initiatives because…
- I am fortunate to be able to do so.
- I am empowering my people to stay afloat and continue the great work they are doing.
- By supporting these people, I am uplifting both my community and myself.
I live knowing that I am doing the small part I can to make a difference and that’s a small win in my book.
…to never let fear suppress my voice.
It is human nature to feel afraid of the unknown. I am extremely guilty of overthinking every public move I make. The classic, “What will people think or say?” comes to mind.
The saddest thing about this is giving up before even trying.
I never thought my voice had a place. I never thought strangers across the world with resonate with my words. But, it happened.
That’s the thing. If you suppress your voice, you cut out any possibility of anything happening.
By speaking up, you open up the possibility of something happening.
- You start a conversation.
- You find a community of people who resonate with you.
- You inspire others to continue pursuing their passion.
But, you have to speak up.
…patience.
Whether it’s the elections, career, or personal life, patience is truly a virtue. Change doesn’t have to happen overnight. We work towards change through small actions that create a movement.
I spent months creating a presence and meeting new people on LinkedIn where I discovered areas that I could improve in and insight from both young aspirants like myself and professionals. With time, I recognized that I felt more confident and that improved how I felt about myself when applying for jobs. And now, I am more than thrilled to see that these efforts and small actions I performed for months led to offers in the role I’ve eyed for so long.
But, it took time and patience.
Thank You 2020.
The little things in life have never meant more to me till this year. I feel empowered by my thoughts and you gave me the time to do so.
There is a lot of pain and loss associated with this year, but that is not what you will be solely remembered for.
You’ll be remembered for…
- the memories I made with family and bonds I’ve strengthened as a result.
- the chef’s hat I put on that makes me not spend all my time on a screen.
- the beginning of starting my own small business, Rozumi to satisfy my art passions alongside one of my closest friends
- the people who I’ve interacted and impacted (hopefully even inspired) on my journey
- the growth I’ve made that led me finally reach my dream career (more on this coming soon)
…and of course all of the reflections you prompted me to come up with.
I say farewell and smile as I lay in the spot where I spent most of my time with you — here at home in bed wrapped in warmth with my deepest thoughts.
