Navigating Imposter Syndrome
As a society, we are beginning to realize imposter syndrome is impacting more of us than we think.
But, what is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is when individuals feel inadequate or incapable despite any achievements they reach. Any signs of success are dismissed as pure luck and seen as fooling others with a facade of their competence.
Imposter syndrome can happen to anyone at anytime and its very nature makes it hard to recognize when you are even experiencing it.
As college students we often fall subject to imposter syndrome without even realizing it. Yet, no one teaches us about this in class and we go along our day thinking it is normal but it’s not.
I was like that.
Falling into Imposter Syndrome
Back in fall 2018, I was in my final year at UC Irvine attending the Fall Tech Career Fair. For any senior, especially this was big. This is your chance to network and stand out for a potential future job.
I remember putting on my professional attire and preparing my resume for this day. My peers around me thought I had it all together and was bound to succeed.
When in reality, I felt like a mess. I was internalizing all my doubts and insecurities.
In fact, I felt the opposite. I thought everyone else around me had it together, while I was incompetent compared to them.
I didn’t believe in my achievements and thought I was lucky to put them on my resume.
I went around the booths for a few hours and I remember feeling a brief moment of relief when a recruiter was excited when looking at my resume.
You’d think I would feel more accomplished or proud, but no I only felt a small bit of relief because I immediately began to question myself once again.
What did I really do to even deserve this? Am I even qualified enough?
And because of these doubts, I only made it worse on myself.
The Repercussions
I looked at people who were where I wanted to be. They had their own 3–5 side hustles and were top in their class.
I compared myself to them. I deemed my self-worth based on their level of success.
I began to overcompensate.
Since my efforts were not enough, I should do even more beyond my capacity because otherwise people will realize I’m not good enough.
I engaged in what is known as the “toxic hustle”. I thought that by engaging in this I could redeem myself.
To no surprise, I burned out and broke down mentally.
The facade of this put-together Ami Patel broke. I couldn’t bear the weights to succeed and thought this was it. I failed.
Coming to Terms with Imposter Syndrome
Social media portrays this golden glimmer of success.
We take this at face value and believe that this is it. There is more behind the scenes that we don’t see.
The late nights, lack of sleep, countless rejections, and more.
We think we are alone in feeling this way when in reality we all feel this way at some point in our life.
It took me quite some time to realize that I obsessed over comparing myself to someone else but that doesn’t even make sense. Each and every one of us comes from a different background and have our own journey, so why should I evaluate my self worth and belittle my accomplishments based on them?
The only one I can compare myself with is me. The past me. Who I was yesterday and how much have I grown as a person since then?
Changing my mindset impacted my perception. I began to stop overworking myself mindlessly but finding intent with each task I took upon myself.
This changed the way I dealt with imposter syndrome and found ways to cope with it.
began to find ways to manage it.
Find a community and circle of people you trust.
Confiding with a few close mentor figures and friends was a first step in opening up. There’s a small feeling of the heavy burdens lifting as they listen and tell you that it’s normal.
These people are the ones who’ve known me for a while and could validate my work and potential. I’m always relying on them and they are my backbone.
I will always appreciate all of them for believing me, but sometimes you need more.
A big reason I struggled to articulate how I felt during my senior year was because I didn’t think people could understand what I was going through.
While I appreciated my friends, my passions were different so it was hard for them to really resonate with my specific situation.
The real change in how I faced imposter syndrome came when I found like-minded individuals who also were struggling to break into product online.
By connecting with them and hearing their story, I again realized I wasn’t alone. Their story reassured me that I wasn’t crazy for how I was reacting.
Finding a community provided me with a different type of comfort I wasn’t used to, but I needed it. Having them around me helped me get back on my feet, as we collectively shared similar aspirations. I felt healthier and better about who I was because of our shared experiences.
Self-affirmation goes a long way.
No matter what others say, it only will matter if you believe in it yourself.
There are days where I will feel down and a friend will hype me up:
I believe in you. You’ve worked so hard and beyond qualified for it.
I nod and mindlessly agree moving on. But, I don’t believe it. I still feel the same.
It is in these very moments, you need to be honest with yourself.
Reflect on all your hardships and everything you’ve done till now. What have you overcame and achieved — including the little things?
Maya Grossman, author of Invaluable, shared the following tip.
Create a brag sheet for yourself.
Write down all your accomplishments — from graduating, hosting an event for the first time, and more.
Don’t limit yourself because this list is just for you. Put down anything that you are proud of.
Then whenever you are feeling a bit down, pull this sheet out to reaffirm how far you’ve come along.
When I turned 23 last year I wrote an article, 23 Things. Even when I wrote that article, it made me feel proud to see that I did that much.
It made me wonder why I put myself down at times because looking at this list, I noticed how much I’ve grown.
I accomplished things I could never have imagined before.
I feel more confident and empowered to believe in who I am. I stopped fearing that I’m out of character but working towards who I want to be.
At the end of the day, it’s all about your mindset.
Don’t let imposter syndrome drive your life.
I personally feel that I’ll always experience moments of imposter syndrome, but with time I learn to deal with it better.
It’s okay to feel down every now and then, but don’t let that get in the way of what you truly want in not just career but life.
When you feel like an “imposter” its usually because we feel that we are unqualified and incapable. But, that doesn’t mean we will always be like that.
Everyone starts from a different place and the more we understand that the better we can go about reaching our own definition of success and achievements.
Remember, you are beyond capable and never alone.
This article was inspired from my Navigating Imposter Syndrome podcast I did on Opal’s Shine a Light On podcast with Opal’s CEO, Mariah Manzano.
Opal is doing great work on empowering students in the community and you can find the entire series here.
My name is Ami Patel and I’m an incoming PM at Microsoft. You can find me on LinkedIn posting regular content on my experiences and lessons or on Instagram sharing more of the behind the scenes.
